I stand there, motionless
My heart pounds and my face heats up
fire burning through my veins
as those words of hatred
slip effortlessly through my ears,
clouding up my mind.
Those words no longer a surprise
as I jump from group to group,
never having real friends
friends that I can rely on and
accept me for the true me.
I did what I knew how to do best.
I grabbed that mask without a second thought,
and forced it onto my face.
That mask did not only cover my face,
but covered the true me,
my personality.
Everything.
It burned me on the outside and the inside.
Burning away who I really was.
I changed so that I could “fit in”
and be part of the “cool crowd”.
Just like any 12 or 13 year old would.
I let that mask cover me for years,
afraid that my true self would be seen.
I always thought that it was important what others thought
That what mattered the most was the amount of friends I has,
not the amount of the true me that was left under the facade.
or that as time was going by
I was a ticking time bomb,
ready to explode
as who I actually was battled the mask.
But, boy, was I wrong.
When the time came that
I finally had the courage to remove the mask,
it did not come without harm.
Nails digging underneath the mask,
tearing and pulling off some skin.
Immediately, I take a deep breath of fresh air,
as a weight is lifted off my shoulders.
Relief floods me
