Betrayal

In response to The Things They Carried, by Tim O'Brien

How does Tim O'Brien's injury impact his relation with his platoon?

**Platoon - a military unit that usually consists of a lieutenant and sections**

O'Brien gets shot twice while he was at war, which is what he discusses in the chapter "The Ghost Soldiers". The first time that he got shot, it was out by Tri Binh, which is in Vietnam. He got shot in the side, and fell on top of Rat Kiley's lap, which O'Brien said was a good thing because Rat Kiley was the medic in his platoon. He was immediately treated and then sent to the hospital later that night. It was in mid-December, 26 days after being shot, when O'Brien went back to Alpha Company and joined his unit. However, when he got back, he got news that Rat Kiley had been wounded and sent to Japan.

Bobby Jorgenson took Rat Kiley's place as the new medic. But Jorgenson was nowhere near to being as skilled or brave as Rat Kiley. When O'Brien got shot the second time, it was in the butt along the Song Tra Bong (which is a river). He laid there, screaming for help, but it took a while before Jorgenson had the guts to crawl over to him and help him. Even then, it was too late. He was sloppy with the patch job and did not know anything about shock, which caused O'Brien to go through a lot of suffering. Later on his butt wound began to rot. He wanted to get revenge on Jorgenson.

When staying at the hospital, he was unable to walk , sit, or sleep. The only position he could stay in was laying flat on his stomach. Due to his wound getting an infection, he has been having to spread some time of antibacterial ointment on it three times every day. It was that time that they thought that O'Brien had had enough injuries, so he was transferred to the Headquarters Company, which was the battalion supply section.

After being taken away, O'Brien no longer felt close to the soldiers that he had spent the past months with. Though O'Brien had never wanted to be in the war in the beginning, having spent so much time with his platoon and then being taken away from them cause him to want to be a part of the unit again. He had build many relationships and close friends. He states that "You become part of a tribe and you share the same blood-you give it together, you take it together"(O'Brien.192). When he was no longer a part of the unit, he envied their relationships and closeness, since that went through more experiences of war without O'Brien.

At one point, as mentioned earlier, O'Brien wanted to get revenge on Jorgenson for "making" him go through so much pain and having to deal with an unhealed wound for the rest of his life. He tried to get Mitchel Sanders, who was one of the men that was in the platoon he used to be in, to help him with getting revenge, but Sanders completely defended Jorgenson and stated how he was doing a lot better and was helping many of the men stay alive. However, O'Brien would not budge, most likely not worrying about his own morality. Sanders told O'Brien that he wouldn't understand since he was no longer part of the group. O'Brien was no longer as close to all the the men as Jorgenson was, even if he had spent a longer time with them. O'Brien felt betrayed.

The Inbetween

The Inbetween

Standing inches from the mirror

Only thing dividing myself from the mirror and my face

Was the camera

My hands clutching it tightly

Coming in and out of focusing

Seeing myself in the reflection

Of the reflection

Not one, but two mirrors

Two times

Two worlds

In and out of both

Like the focus

Never sure of where you belong

Just sure that where you stand

Is the closest you have to home.

Adrenaline

Heat in the body,

triggered by different things:

Passion

Embarrassment

Rage

Nervousness

Fear

The one that sticks the most?

Adrenaline.

The center and main cause

The Beach

The waves crash along the shore

spraying water into the air.

We hear the seagulls screeching in the background,

while the ocean roars in our ears.

Our arms are wrapped around

each others shoulders.

The light breeze lifts our hair

while the sun shines down on our faces.

I can taste the saltiness in the air

and feel the sand between my toes.

We stumble, clinging on to each other

while the picture is taken.

But we do not see

as we are turned away from the camera.

We focus on each others warmth,

as the breeze causes us to shiver.

We slowly stumble towards the water,

knowing it will be freezing,

yet we are still curious.

The water touches our skin,

causing us to scramble away,

squealing with coldness.

We don’t worry about the difficulties

that will occur later with getting

sand out of our clothes and hair.

Instead, we cherish the rare and precious moment.

Endless Road

The bright yellow road

curves carefully to the right

full of many obstacles and choices to come.

The plush green grass to its left

the deep dark mud to its right.

One with a bright mind,

the other with a negative one

yet both still able to

nurture the trees

to keep them strong and healthy

The white trunks shooting endlessly

towards the clouds.

The bright sunlight

emits through the trees

making the road brighter.

The road seems tempting,

promising, but is it really?

The grass and mud

may be more.

Only one way to find out..

Our Bracelet

Christmas day,

that small box is being opened,

revealing the silver bracelet.

Sisters,

the first thing I see

then all the little designs.

Sisters.

identical bracelets for us three,

made to be worn with pride

and most definitely will be.

worn every day only on our left hand,

always feeling comfortable.

the cold metal hitting my skin,

yet it feels warm to me.

questions asked and proudly answered

since 2009.

without it my wrist feels naked

useless, and cold

the strong metal has gone through a lot

with lots of scratches and bruises,

yet it still stays strong

as does our relationship.

this little object having lots of meaning,

strong enough to hold us together,

to represent our love and our loyalty

Destructed Beauty

The plush forest stands tall,

towering above all,

continuously blooming it’s beautiful colors

water drops lie here and there

from the morning mist

The white and orange item falls

from his selfish fingertips

almost out but not quite

still having enough power to destroy

The fog lifts up

the true beauty is finally shown

as the sunlight leaks through the trees

awaking a new array of colors

strong and proud

The tip grows a dim red

barely touching the nature around it

yet beginning the end

as the red spreads quickly

The plants burst into flame

shrivel up and crumble to the burnt ground

the strong trees are no longer strong

as they fall down

bringing whatever is in its way down as well

The land lays dead and dark

thick black smoke suffocating any living thing,

everything that took years to make

gone in seconds.

Beauty destroyed.

The Pages Within

The block is unstable below my feet

as I grip at it like my life depends on it

the water unmoving, yet dangerous

it crumbles in movement as I enter it

deeper and deeper, unable to swim towards the surface

choking as I try to bring my self up

the pressure is unbearable,

causing unseen tears to fall from my eyes,

my heart beats loudly while my head throbs and my chest tightens

breathing is forgotten as I replay all that happened

attempted to be avoided yet easily occurred

words float effortlessly above the water,

bringing me up, easing me from my pain into a calmer place,

my heart slows in pace as my fingers touch the pages lightly,

music enters my ears in the background yet I'm focused on the words,

on the adventures, the romances, the mysteries

I’m in my own world, nothing else matters

the drama, the guys, the school work all gone,

all forgotten within a turn of a page.

yet it’s still there, buried deep down to be remembered some other time

yet attempted to be left there forever.

I dive into the characters problems and worlds,

time is lost as the pages keep turning and turning

smiling, laughing, crying, and wondering

as I become myself again.

To Tell, or Not to Tell?

In response to The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien

In the chapter Ambush, O'Brien begins by saying how when his daughter Kathleen was nine, she asked him if he had ever killed anyone. She had known the her father had gone to war and had been a soldier, but she was curious as to whether he had killed anyone, since all his stories were mainly about other soldiers that he knew. In response to her question, he told her no, because he thought it was the right thing to do.

Was it the right thing to do? Should O'Brien lie to his own nine year old daughter and tell her that he had never killed anyone?

Lying can seem like something that will weaken bonds and relationships. However, in my opinion, it depends on the situation. If someone lies to cover up something that they did wrong, or lies to get their own way, then relationships will weaken. But, if someone lies to help preserve someone's feelings or to protect someone from harm, then it can strengthen bonds. Though I am not condoning lying, there are times when a white lie is needed to get by, especially when protecting a child.

In this case, O'Brien tells a white lie to his daughter to protect her from the truth. At a young age, the thought of her own father killing someone, even if it was to save his own life (which in this case can be unsure of), can traumatize her, or cause her to think differently of her own father. As a little girl, your father is someone who you idolize and worship, someone who is always there to protect you. O'Brien most likely did not want this to change so he told a lie that would do no harm, as it was something that he held, a burden that he would stay with. Placing this burden on a little girl could possibly harm her, which is something that O'Brien most likely did not want. What he did was the right thing to do.

However, later on, as his daughter become older, I think that he should end up telling her the truth, if it is brought up. That way, if he felt bad about lying, though I do not think that he should, he can relieve the burden and tell her the truth. However, there is no way of knowing how she would respond to this kind of news. She could possibly be furious or somewhat mad at O'Brien for lying to her and keeping this story from her, or understand why he decided to tell her a white lie. Whether or not she agrees with him, the decision was made when she asked him the question at the age of nine. And, he responded in the right way.

Decisions

In response to The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien

Why did Tim O'Brien decide to head off to war?

Fear of embarrassment is a huge aspect throughout the book. In On the Rainy River, a chapter from the novel The Things They Carried, O'Brien demonstrates the influence that embarrassment has on one's decision. In this story, O'Brien tells about the time he received the draft notice on June 17, 1968. It was very common for young men to be drafted to war, and there really was no way to get out of it. The only way one did not get sent to war was if they were in school, or if they decided to escape to Canada. O'Brien had just finished college and was dreading the day that the letter would come. Upon receiving the notice, many emotions and scenarios played inside his head. He saw himself running away, getting all the way to the border to Canada. But, upon reaching the border, he hesitated as he saw the faces of all the people he knew, staring at him and screaming words of mockery. It was at that moment that he decided to go to war, because he "couldn't risk the embarrassment". 

Tim O'Brien's embarrassment of what others thought pushed him into enrolling in the way, even though he was terrified for his own self. He knew that if he decided to run away to Canada, he would most likely never be able to go back to the United States without being arrested. . He would always be on the lookout, always checking behind his back. He also knew that he would never be able to have a strong relationship (if any) with his family due to them being disappointed in him. No one would see him the same. They would see him as a "Traitor... Turncoat". His decision had nothing to do with morality. These, I believe, were not the reasons as why he should have decided to go. 

I believe that he made the right decision to head off to war. However, the reasons and ways he had done it was not the right way. Rather than being pressured, he should have done it of his own good. If he had chosen to run away to Canada, there would be no book or living in a relaxed state. He wouldn’t be the person he is today.

Many people decide to do things based on the opinions of other's and the fear of what others will think of them, This is not the way to live, which is something that I learned. You should make decisions based on your own opinions and reasons because what you decided to do will either benefit or hurt you in the long run. So, if O'Brien had decided to not go to war, it would still have been the right decision for himself, because then he would not be traumatized by all the experiences that he had. Though it would lead to him not being able to write this novel, it would have most likely saved him from all physical and mental injuries. It was his own decision to make, whether anyone else agreed with it or not.

Not Enough

The music flows through my veins
my heart beating faster.
Faster,
as the tempo quickens.
louder.
Louder.
never fading,
excitement buzzing through me
as my foot taps feverishly.
My mind drifting to another place,
a place of beauty, terror, sadness, bliss.
The emotions flowing through the music.
Immediately I stand up
and let the music take over me,
as all the stress disappears.
The music is like a drug
as I go crazy on the inside
and on the outside.
I'm dreaming
but I'm wide awake,
Stuck in between.
Dreading the time that the music will stop
and the world will come rushing back.
Wanting more music
when there is not enough.

The Light and Darkness in Life

James Baldwin was an African American novelist and civil rights activist who was born on August 2, 1924 in Harlem, New York. In many of his writings, he expressed the pain and hardship of being an African American in white America. He grew up in poverty with his eight younger siblings. He had a hard time growing up and building a relationship with his extremely strict and religious stepfather. Growing up in these kinds of circumstances, Baldwin searched for  way to escape his problems. Upon searching, he found a passion for writing at the age of 14. Baldwin later believes that his passion for writing emerged and grew once he began to follow his stepfather’s path by becoming a preacher. All his experiences in Harlem greatly influenced his writing.

In James Baldwin’s short story “Sonny’s Blues”, one of the most important symbolic motifs is the usages of light and dark, which are in constant tension throughout the story. The author uses light to expose the darkness within the narrator’s and Sonny’s life, as well as to show salvation and grace. The darkness is used to show the bad things that occur under the surface of the narrator’s and Sonny’s lives, the problems that are not visible to the human eyes. However, Baldwin does not only show light as a good connotation and darkness as a bad connotation. Both of these symbols together highlight the hope, gloom, warmth, and despair that mark each of the character’s lives.

The opening paragraph of the short story starts with a symbol that illustrates the contrast to the dark and gloomy society that the narrator and Sonny grew up in. He states, “I [narrator] stared at it in the swinging lights of the subway car, and in the faces and bodies of the people,and in my own face, trapped in the darkness which roared outside”(Baldwin.1). The darkness represents Harlem, and how so many people are trapped and stuck in the community, unable to fully keep going forward and move on. As the story continues, the narrator notices the similarities between his students, and pretty much all the students that attend the school he teaches at, and his own brother. He fears for the young minds, fearing that they will fall into the trap of drugs and crime. He blames it on the streets of Harlem, not providing a safe place for these kids, as they “...were living as we’d been living then, they were growing up with a rush and their heads bumped abruptly against the low ceiling of their actual possibilities. They were filled with rage. All they knew were two darknesses, the darkness of their lives, which was now closing in on them, and the darkness of the movies, which had blinded them to that other darkness, and in which they now, vindictively, dreamed, at once more together than they were at any other time, and more alone”(Baldwin 1). The young boys were beginning to believe the stereotypes of themselves, causing darkness to overcome them. The darkness represented the lack of opportunity that was available to them. They knew that they would never be able to live the perfect lives of white people that were often portrayed in movies. They did not have anything to look forward to, no light, as they often liked in a dark reality, which is why the narrator feared for their lives and minds. Afraid that they would go down a dark path, a path darker than what they lived in at the moment.

However, darkness is not necessarily always a bad thing. Baldwin states that “The silence, the darkness coming, and the darkness in the faces frighten the child obscurely. He hopes that the hand which strokes his forehead will never stop-will never die...But something deep and watchful in the child knows that this is bound to end, is already ending. In a moment someone will get up and turn on the light...And when the light fills the room, the child is filled with darkness. He knows that every time this happens he’s moved just a little closer to that darkness outside”(Baldwin. 9). With light comes exposure and visibility; the ability to see what the world is really like. Light can be frightening and not always encouraging. It can be dangerous and life changing when a child exposes themselves to the world. Innocence and childhood is lost, which is why many wish to stay in the dark. Darkness can be seen as slow and gentle relief, a place of familiarity. While light exposes the treacherous things that the world and society commit. However, the reality is that darkness is nothing without the light, because without the light, darkness can not be seen. 

When Sonny is released from jail the narrator, makes an observation about his brother. He states, “Yet, when he [Sonny] smiled, when we shook hands, the baby brother I’d never known looked out from the depths of his private life, like an animal waiting to be coaxed into the light”(Baldwin. 6). There was a painful realization that the narrator never actually got to know his own brother. Yet, even not knowing Sonny, he saw something that moment. He saw that under all the traces of prison and addiction, there was some light that needed to be coaxed out of the darkness. Being in prison was like being a caged animal, and being there for his own brother would hopefully help Sonny be brought back to the light.

All this darkness and light concepts is what got the narrator worried about his own brother, afraid that he would go back into the darkness and continue doing drugs. It was difficult for hims to realize that the music that Sonny played was helping him, rather than hurting him. But, at the end of the story, when the narrator is in the jazz club, there is a struggle with light and darkness. It is at that moment that the narrator notices “The light from the bandstand spilled just a little short of them and watching them laughing and gesturing and moving about, I [narrator] had the feeling that they, nevertheless, were being most careful not to step in that circle of light too suddenly; that if they moved into the light too suddenly, without thinking, they would perish in flame”(Baldwin. 23). At that moment, he realized that Sonny was coping with his pain through music. Music helped him. Finally being able to embrace the truth, the narrator feels happy for Sonny. There was an understanding between the two brothers.

It is not always easy to get over pain, and everyone has different ways of coping for it, some bad while others good strategies. In the end, though, pain is still pain; it is all the same. The way that the brother’s dealt with trying to mend the pain and the hardships between them caused the shadows and lights to emerge. They go through both darkness and light to fix their relationship and strengthen it, with the help of music.

Covering My True Self

I stand there, motionless

My heart pounds and my face heats up

fire burning through my veins

as those words of hatred

slip effortlessly through my ears,

clouding up my mind.

Those words no longer a surprise

as I jump from group to group,

never having real friends

friends that I can rely on and

accept me for the true me.

I did what I knew how to do best.

I grabbed that mask without a second thought,

and forced it onto my face.

That mask did not only cover my face,

but covered the true me,

my personality.

Everything.

It burned me on the outside and the inside.

Burning away who I really was.

I changed so that I could “fit in”

and be part of the “cool crowd”.

Just like any 12 or 13 year old would.

I let that mask cover me for years,

afraid that my true self would be seen.

I always thought that it was important what others thought

That what mattered the most was the amount of friends I has,

not the amount of the true me that was left under the facade.

or that as time was going by

I was a ticking time bomb,

ready to explode

as who I actually was battled the mask.

But, boy, was I wrong.

When the time came that

I finally had the courage to remove the mask,

it did not come without harm.

Nails digging underneath the mask,

tearing and pulling off some skin.

Immediately, I take a deep breath of fresh air,

as a weight is lifted off my shoulders.

Relief floods me