The waves crash along the shore
spraying water into the air.
We hear the seagulls screeching in the background,
while the ocean roars in our ears.
Our arms are wrapped around
each others shoulders.
The light breeze lifts our hair
while the sun shines down on our faces.
I can taste the saltiness in the air
and feel the sand between my toes.
We stumble, clinging on to each other
while the picture is taken.
But we do not see
as we are turned away from the camera.
We focus on each others warmth,
as the breeze causes us to shiver.
We slowly stumble towards the water,
knowing it will be freezing,
yet we are still curious.
The water touches our skin,
causing us to scramble away,
squealing with coldness.
We don’t worry about the difficulties
that will occur later with getting
sand out of our clothes and hair.
Instead, we cherish the rare and precious moment.
I love the sensory detail that you used in this poem! I literally was able to feel like I was there on the beach near the ocean, and felt the happiness that the two characters felt. And the way you wrote this poem; the format of it makes sense. I also enjoy the contrast between the cold and hot air that the two feel and the relationship between the people and nature is breathtaking.
ReplyDeleteThis is packed with so much imagery and pathos; while reading, audience can very easily visualize the setting and feel the mood. You set up the scene so well and it's evident that you have actually experienced this before, that it's not just a story/poem you imagined. The piece explains the importance of living in the moment and not worrying about the future. People tend to worry about the future and not enjoy what's happening in the now and you portrayed that very well!
ReplyDeleteThis poem is so descriptive and filled with imagery which really hooks your readers in at the very beginning of your piece. I also thought that it was very effective that you wrote about the beach because it is relatable to so many of us because we live so close the the ocean and beach. Not only is the setting effective but your story that you told was very relatable and inspirational to people because not everyone cherishes the little moments and this poem really puts into perspective how beneficial it is to cherish the little moments. Great job overall.
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